It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
