i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
