bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
