I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
