there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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