she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize