Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
