Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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