he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
