I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
