Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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