The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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