I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
