Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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