maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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