That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
