margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
