after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
