i just had sex bonerless
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
