so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
