bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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