It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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