Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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