i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
