we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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