Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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