ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My ass is underappreciated
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
