We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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