all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
