the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
