i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
