All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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