we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
