chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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