2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
