I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
