So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
