It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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