i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I met the friendliest cop last night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
