Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Less talking, more tequila
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
