; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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