Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think my vagina is haunted
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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