So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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