its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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