she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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