I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she peed on how many people?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
