You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
