as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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