sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
