I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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