sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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