I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
