Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
