i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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