ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he shaved USA in his pubs
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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